The Vacation to End All Vacations: Sand Sib Story
by LiLiKun18
Summary: When Temari convinces her two brothers to acomapny her on a trip to a fancy resort, she has no idea what she's getting into.
1. Introduction

"BUT I DON'T WANNA GO!!!" Kankuro whined as he watched Temari pack her tooth brush.

"Come on Kankuro It'll be fun!" Temari prodded, trying to seem cheerful. (even though she was fed up with her brother for being so obstinate.)

"No!" Kankuro said crossing his arms.

A couple of days ago Temari had booked a vacation to a really nice resort out by the ocean. She didn't inform her brothers because she thought she'd surprise them. When she finally dropped the bomb shell, the two siblings had rejected the Idea entirely.

"But Why Not?" Temari asked.

"Because! I don't wanna go to some girly resort, just so you can run off to the spa and leave me to Baby Sit Captain Emo"

"I'm not a baby..." Gaara called from the other room. "...and if you even try to sit on me, I'll gut you alive and feed your organs to seagulls."

"Case and Point..." Kankuro spat.

"Gaara!!! Your not making things any easier!!!" Temari snapped.

"It's not like I wanna got either!" Gaara exclaimed as he appeared by the door frame. "Spending a whole week in some boring old dump, couldn't we just stay and do missions? Beating people to death is a heck of a lot more fun then anything this place could dish out..."

"How do you know?" Temari defended. "You could really like it."

Gaara and Kankuro still looked unimpressed so Temari decided to use a different tactic then reason.

"Hey Gaara it's right by the beach! You know what that means right?"

"Fat guys in speedos?"

Temari sighed. "No... Sand! Lots of Sand!"

Gaara's eyes brightened immediately. "You mean I could make a giant sand typhoon and crush every person on the whole beach" Gaara chuckled darkly as he pictured thousands of morons running for the lives as they were slowly crushed by a sand tidal wave.

"NO! NO! NO CRUSHING!!!" Temari shrieked. "But still... sand."

Gaara looked at Kankuro. "Pack your bags, I'm gonna go find some sand..." He instructed.

"Wha? But I-"

"I said **_Pack Your Bags!_**" Gaara repeated menacingly.

Kankuro swallowed. "Yes Gaara..." He stammered.

Gaara walked out of the room humming a cheery tune. There was a new spring in his step as he pictured what he could do to all the fat guys in speedo's with his newly acquired sand.

Kankuro shot Temari and angry look.

"Hey you heard Gaara." She smirked. "Pack your bags..."

Kankuro opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it. He turned and stalked out of the room not nearly quite as happy as his little brother.

Temari smiled to herself as she zipped her suitcase closed. "I Love Bribery."


	2. How to be a Man

**THE NEXT MORNING**

"Kankuro you can't bring Karusu!!!" Temari yelled as she spotted the kitty eared shinobi trying to stuff the life size puppet in the back of the car.

"WHAT! WHY NOT?"

Temari rolled her eyes. "There never gonna let that _thing_on the plane!" Temari explained. "It's got knives all over it!"

"Karusu is not a thing, and who cares! Knives are AWESOME!!!!

Temari let out a huff. "Alright but don't come crying to me when the airport throws him out!"

"Puh like that'll ever happen!" Kankuro smirked.

**A SHORT TIME LATER!!!**

"TEMARI!!!!!" Kankuro squealed as he ran out of security.

"What took you so long?" Gaara complained. It was then Gaara realized something. "Kankuro...are you...are you crying?"

"Temari...they *sniff* they took Karusu away" Kankuro sobbed.

Temari barely looked up from the directory. "I told you not to bring him..."

"Bu-Bu" Kankuro was reaching hysteria. He no longer had the power to form words with his mouth.

Gaara stared at him. "Shouldn't we like...do something?" He asked.

"Let him suffer he deserved to lose the puppet." Temari said coolly

"KARUSU!!!!" Kankuro wailed, throwing himself on the floor. "HE WAS MY ONLY FRIEND!!! WHY!?"

"Because they don't allow weapons on the plane..." Temari answered.

"THATS SO LAME!!!" Kankuro cried. "THROW AWAY A MAN'S PRIDE AND JOY JUST BECAUSE IT'S A WEAPON!!!"

This gave Gaara an idea. He walked up to Kankuro and slapped him across the face."WHAP!!!"

Kankuro immediately stopped crying. "What did you do that for?" He hiccuped.

"AND YOU CALL YOURSELF A SHINOBI!!!" Gaara shouted. "YOU ACTUALLY LET THEM TAKE IT WITHOUT EVEN PUTTING UP A FIGHT!!!"

"But I-"

"NO BUTS!!! NOW ARE YOU A MAN OR NOT!!!"

Kankuro started to puff himself up a bit. "I am a man!"

"LOUDER!"

"I AM A MAN!!!!"

"AND WHAT'RE YOU GOING TO DO?!"

"GET KARUSU BACK!!!" Kankuro screamed as he charged determinedly back to security.

"Whatcha do that for!?" Temari yelled as the young shinobi crashed through crowds to reclaim his puppet.

"With any luck he'll be arrested and we'll never see him again..." Gaara explained.

"But he'll never make it on the plane!!!" Temari exclaimed.

"exactly..." Gaara smirked.

Temari looked at him, realizing what he was suggesting. A tiny smile spread across her face.

"You're crazy you know that" She said giving her baby brother a knock on the head.

"I try..."

**Meanwhile...**

On the other side of the airport, Kankuro had already made it back to security and was approaching the elderly woman who had confiscated his puppet.

"Hey you!" He called menacingly. The security guard gave him a bored look.

"Oh no...not you again..." she said flatly.

"I want Karusu back old lady." Kankuro challenged.

"Sorry no can do..." She replied as she pulled out a tiny blue book. " Your puppet violates restriction numbers 3, 6, 8, 10, 16, 23, 52, 89, and 334, It says so right here in the employee manual" She explained waving the little book in Kankuro's face.

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE RULES!!!" Kankuro shouted. "Now give me Karusu, or I'll be forced to use...force."

"Is that a threat, because if it is I can have you charged for breaking code of conduct number 879" The woman sighed.

"GIMME KARUSU!!!" Kankuro yelled lunging at the old lady. She side stepped him leaving him to land flat on the ground. She grabbed a megaphone and shouted shrilly: "TERRORIST!!! CALL THE SWAT TEAM!!!"

Within the next few moments Kankuro had been shoved against a wall, screamed at in a very not nice tone, Handcuffed, and throne into a tiny room. He was so surprised he could only mange to say one word.

"force?"

**UNNECESSARY TRANSITION**

By this time Gaara and Temari were already boarding. Temari was freaking out a little.

"Are you sure Kankuro will be OK without us?" She fretted. "What if security isn't nice to him?"

"They'll figure out he isn't dangerous when he starts crying for his sister..." Gaara said

"What if they don't feed him?"

"He'll live..."

"What if they let him go and he can't find his way home?"

"Temari he's 16 I think he can handle it..."

"Yeah but-"

"Look he'll be fine this is Kankuro we're talking about."

"I know...thats why I'm so worried."

At this point Gaara decided to appeal to Temari's better nature.

"Hey, I'm just sayin, you weren't worried all those times he criticized your cooking, or called you a cow, or refused to clean up his room."

Temari looked at Gaara disapprovingly, "Do you care about your brother at all?"

"Yeah..." Gaara said unconvincingly. "This'll just be great revenge for that time when I was eight and he said my teddy bear looked girly."

Temari shook her head and smiled. "He did say my cooking tasted like crap..." she mused.

"I knew you'd understand..." Gaara smirked as the two siblings boarded the plane.

**TO BE CONTINUED!!!!**


	3. Half the Fun is Getting There!

Authors Note: I have two dead plants in my room, Uki-Kun and Sakura, both died young.

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Kankuro banged his fists on the door. "LET ME OUT!!! LET ME OUT YOU COWARDS SO I CAN KICK YOUR STUPID BUTT'S!!!"

Poor, poor, poor Kankuro, His brother and sister had abandoned him, he got beat up by a SWAT team, his puppet was missing, he was in a tiny room and he was totally claustraphobic, and all that crying had made his makeup come off.

"YOU DIDN'T EVEN SAY I HAD THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!!! I WANNA BE SILENT!!! IF YOU DON'T LET ME BE SILENT ALL SCREAM AT YOU!!! ARE YOU LISTENING I DESERVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!!!!!"

It was then he noticed the figure lying in the corner of the room. "KARUSU CHAN!!!" He cried as he flew over to the puppets side and game it a big hug!!! "OH I MISSED YOU!!!" He sobbed as he embraced the wonderful chunk of wood. "Did they hurt you?" He fretted as he began to inspect the puppet. "Oh you must be hungry!" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a snickers. (YES! THEY HAVE SNICKERS IN JAPAN) "Take my candy bar..." He said lovingly as he crammed the chocolate down the puppets throat. "There..." Kankuro smiled. He picked Karusu up and strapped him to his back. "Now lets find a way out of here..."

**MORE TRANSITIONS!!!**

Unfortunately for Kankuro the plane was going to take off in due minus seven seconds.

"Ok so where are we sitting?" Gaara asled as Temari scanned the tickets.

"Well it was a full flight so we're going to be a couple aisle away from eachother." She explained. "Your going to be over there in aisle 17, while I'm going to be in aisle 13."

Gaara looked fearful for a moment. "Temari 13's an unlucky number you should take Kankuro's seat instead, you don't know what could happen..."

"Oh don't be all supersticious Gaara!" Temari chuckled as she took her seat...

"Ok but don't say I didn't warn you..." Gaara muttered as he stepped back to take his own seat.

At that very moment a small group of people started to squirm onto the plane...Temari looked on for a moment until she realized she recognized them!

It was the Uchiha Sasuke and his blonde little friend. A she watched them walk by, she heard to people talking a couple of seats ahead of her.

"Now Lee we're in aisle 13! This is usually I sign of Bad luck so stay on your toes, and look for worthy arm wrestling foes, I love a good arm wrestling match!"

"Yes Gai sensei!!!"

Temari realized with horror that it was those green little jumpsuit wearing weirdo's!!!! Gaara had been right! She had to get out of this aisle and make it to Kankuro's chair before they saw her. As she pulled herself up a flight attendant walked by.

"Ma'am we're about to take off, sit down and fasten your seatbelt,"

"But-"

"SIT DOWN..."

Temari sank into her seat just as the plane began to move.

"Temari San! You are on this flight to? What a joy it is to meet fellow youthful shinobi, especially one as beautiful as you!!!" Lee gushed...

Temari smiled through gritted teeth...

The two taijutsu warriors took a seat on either side of Temari...

"Hey Lee..." Gai yelled. "Lets have an arm fight you and me! Your friend here can be the table!"

"WHAT!? NO-" Temari tried to protest but both shinobi were already battling it out right on top of her skirt...

_I'm never sitting in aisle 13 again_

**AND ANOTHER AMAZING TRANSISTION!!!!**

Gaara (who is in good old 17 rather then unlucky 13) had been looking out the window when he saw Naruto and Sasuke.

"Gaara? No way what are you doing here?" Naruto exclaimed when he spotted Gaara...

"I'm going to a resort to make a sand typhoon..." Gaara explained.

"Right...." Sasuke noted sarcastically.

Gaara ignored the jab and instead asked: "What're you doing here?"

"Thats top secret mission information..." Sasuke smirked.

"We're going to Mount Rushmore to take pictures so we can run a lawsuit saying they totally copied the Hokage heads!!!" Naruto exclaimed!!!

"NARUTO!!!" Sasuke shouted.

"Well we are...." Naruto muttered.

"Where are you sitting?" Gaara asked.

"Looks like...right next to you!" Naruto said as he observed his ticket.

"OK" Gaara said as the two leaf shinobi piled in to the aisle.

**TRANSITION BACK TO TEMARI!!!!**

"You see Lee" Gai explained. "A Man's identity can not be complete without a female partner...the combination of the two genders has been known to change the world..."

"But how? How am I to combine with a female?" Lee asked.

"You shall discover it yourself one day! When you find a woman you deeply care for... Isn't that right Tsuki?"

"It's Temari..." Temari moaned as she willed herself to drop dead.

**TRANSITION BACK TO GAARA!!!!**

"I'm hungry anybody else hungry?" Naruto asked.

Both Gaara and Sasuke shook their heads.

"OK!" Naruto said as he pressed the flight attendant button.

A few moments later, a pretty lady in a flight attendant uniform appeared. "May I help you?" she asked sweetly.

"Can I have some ginger pork ramen?" Naruto asked.

"Of course dear." The woman began rummaging around in her cart until she pulled out a cup of instant ramen.

"here you are!"

"Thanks Lady!!!" Naruto said happily as he started to rip the lid of with his teeth. He began shoveling noodles into his mouth. Sasuke wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"Naruto do you even know the meaning of table manners!"

"wha?" Naruto said spitting noodles allover the Uchiha.

"Ughh!!!" Sasuke yelled as he got out of his chair and stalked off in the direction of the bathroom.

It was silent for a bit as Naruto ate his Ramen and Gaara began to flip through the airplane magazine.

"Gaara, whats your favorite kind of ramen?" Naruto asked aimlessly

"I don't know I've never had ramen?"

Naruto eyes widened with shock, and he almost dropped his instant ramen cup. "YOU'VE NEVER HAD RAMEN!!!!" Naruto shouted loudly, causing the whole plane to look towards the blonde kid in the orange jumpsuit.

"Shhh..." Gaara hushed "Yes I've never had ramen...."

Naruto stared at Gaara in horror. "Can those words even be used in a sentence together?" He asked.

"OK now your just being ridiculous..."

"No! No seriously!" Naruto exclaimed. "You gotta try some right now" He picked up a dozen noodles or so and held them in Gaara's face. "Say ahhhhhh....."

"Ewww Naruto!"

"I SAID SAY AHHH!!!!"

"fine!" Gaara opened his mouth and Naruto shoved the noodles inside.

"COUCK!" Gaara made a weird girgling noise and started pointing at his throat.

"Whats wrong?" Naruto asked.

Gaara's face starting turning red.

"HOLY CRAP!!! ARE YOU CHOKING?!"

Gaara nodded his head, which was now turning purple.

Naruto grabbed Gaara and started giving him the heimliche. "COUGH IT UP COUGH IT UP!!!"

Just Then Sasuke came back, "Ok so I washed most the noodle crap off so don't get anymore on me-"

"BLAGHH!!!" Gaara coughed up the noodles and a a littile bit of his breakfeast, and it all landed smack dab on Sasuke.

Sasuke stared at them, "UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed as he ran back to the bathroom.

**TRANSITIONING NOW!!!**

"Gai sensei! does combining with female have something to do with where children come from?"

"Yes Lee It has alot to do with that!" Gai smiled proudly...

Temari was close to hanging herself at this point.

"Gai what sort of women have you combined with?"

"Well...Lee...I'm the type of person who feel's more like combining with men...I'm speacial that way...It's nothing to be ashamed off..."

"Who do you feel like combining with!!!" Lee asked, his eye's wide with amazement.

"Even though he is my rival, Kakashi has always seemed appealing to me! I've just never had the gutts to aproach him about it! But I will someday!!!"

Lee was smilin with pride at his sensei's boldness.

Temari was puking in the barf bag.

"sensei...sometimes I feel attracted to males as well..." Lee said.

"Really? Who?"

"well he's...he's not a leaf ninja..."

Temari sat up imediantly... _please don't say it, please don't say it_

"I'm very attracted to Gaara-kun..."

Temari threw up in the baggie again.

Just then the pilots voice came on the monitor. "This is your captain speaking we are do to land in axproximatley five minutes, we hope you enjoyed your flight and you'll be joining us again soon."

"THANK YOU!!!" Temari cried.

"calm down TenTari"

"IT'S TEMARI!!!"

**UNESSARY TRANSTION!!!**

Gaara reached into the overhead compartment and took his carry on out.

"See ya later!" Naruto waved as he and Sasuke started for the exit.

"Bye, hey tell me how the whole law suit thing goes OK?"

"Oh I have a feeling it's going to go pretty well..." Naruto smirked as he walked off.

Gaara waited around for Temari to show up. When she finally did, she didn't look to good, her face was all green.

"You OK?" He asked.

Temari just smiled weakly and patted Gaara's head...

"Promise me you'll never be Gay..." she said.

"Okay..." Gaara said.

"Thank you..." Temari sighed. And with that the two walked off the plane.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

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Please excuse any spelling errors, My spellcheck wasn't working...I'm very sorry


	4. The Great Escape!

Hello readers! I'm back again! Sorry I haven't written in a while I've been very busy now that summers finally coming to an end. It may be harder for me to upload chapters but I'm going to do my best! Also thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the reviews I've been getting and please keep them up! I'm very excited to hear that people like my work! Thank you very much! Also, Just something I would like to say: is an incredible place to write stories, it doesn't matter if they're really fan fictions or not but so long as they're stories I think they belong here. Also Gaara is smexy.

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"do do do doo do do" Kankuro hummed the mission impossible theme song as he crawled through the ventalation system of the airport. As soon as he had found Karusu, Kankuro had used him as a step ladder so he could reach the vent on the ceiling. After a little huffing and puffing Kankuro had managed to scramble up inside. He was now navigating his way through the dark tunnle while dragging Karusu behind him.

"Don't be afraid Karasu we'll be outta here in no time!" Kankuro said optimistically.

**A FEW MOMENTS LATER!!!!**

"KARUSU HELP ME I'M STUCK!!!!" Kankuro screamed. The shinobi's plump belly had gotten lodged between the the small air shaft walls.

Kankuro tugged and pulled and sucked in air but nothing seemed to be working. Panicked he began thrashing around trying desperately to free himself. "I knew I shouldn't of had that cupcake for break feast!!! Why didn't I listen to Temari?!!!" Kankuro cried. Kankuro began hyperventilating with fear. "ONEE CHAN!!!! ONEE CHAN!!!! SAVE MEEEE!!!!!"

**MEANWHILE....DOWN STAIRS!!!**

At this point Kankuro's screaming was so loud practically the entire airport was aware of the screaming little boy who had gotten stuck in the air vent.

One of the clerks decided to talk to security about him.

"Umm excuse me I think there's a guy stuck up in the air vents..." She said

The security guard gave her an apathetic look. "Yeah, he escaped from our holding room but now it looks like he's stuck."

"should we do anything?"

"Nah! Just let him sit up there where he won't cause any trouble, if he starts freaking out we'll go get him."

"Well I think he is freaking out! He's screaming an hyperventilating and all that stuff."

"With this one if he's screaming, chances are he's perfectly safe..."

"Oh...."

**BACK IN THE AIR VENT!!!!**

"I'M SORRY!!! I'M SORRY I SMASHED THAT EGG OVER TEMARI'S HEAD WHEN WE WERE FIVE AND POSTED PAGES OF HER DIARY ON FACE BOOK!!!! I'M SORRY I CALLED GAARA'S TEDDY BEAR GIRLY!!! I'M SORRY I ATE THAT PIZZA I WAS SUPPOSED TO DELIVER TO ORPHANS!!!! JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE ALIVE, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!! "

**BACK DOWNSTAIRS!!!!**

"ummm...sir?" The clerk asked again. "There are people complaining about all the noise he's making..."

The security guard sighed. "OK lets get him out."

Luckily enough Kankuro had gotten stuck right over a trapdoor. (True story) The security guys pressed a button and Kankuro fell out on the ground of the airport.

"HA HA I'VE ESCAPED NOTHING CAN HOLD ME!!!" Kankuro screamed as he ran down towards the gate.

"Look Mommy, That boy was crazy" a little girl pointed as her mother led her onto a plane.

**A FEW MOMENTS OF SPAZZY RUNNING LATER**

Kankuro approached the flight clerk at the desk. "Excuse me I need to get on this plane." He said pointing at his ticket.

"Hey weren't you the freak who got caught in the vents?" The clerk asked

"....no....Now can I get on this plane please?"

"Sorry but that one left six hours ago..."

"WHA?" Kankuro cried as he stared at the lady.

"I can exchange it for another flight that leaves tomorrow morning..." The clerk said kindly.

" *sniff* Okay"

**Somewhere off the coast of Japan!**

After getting off the plane and claiming luggage, Gaara and Temari were now trying to catch a taxi to their hotel. Unfortunately they weren't having much luck.

"HEY!!!!" Temari yelled as she waved her hands in the air madly.

The taxi's replied by whizzing by her without even glancing.

Temari whistled, still no taxi.

"Maybe if I hold money up they'll stop..." Temari said aimlessly as she held out a piece of paper money and waved it around. A hobo walked up and snatched out of her hand and ran away.

"HEY GIVE THAT BACK!!!" Temari yelled.

Gaara was paying no attention to his sister, he was consumed in an American magazine some lady had handed him when he got off the plane.

_Hannah Montana? Miley Cyrus? This girl must have some serious identity issues I mean anyone can tell she's the same person _Gaara thought.

"STUPID DRIVER I NEED TO GET TO MY HOTEL!!!" Temari Screamed.

_Look here, it says her names not even Miley! It's Destiny Hope! Eww ugly name. Oh My... Is that her dad? No wonder she has problems._

"GAARA ARE YOU JUST GONNA SIT THERE AND READ THAT TRASH OR ARE YOU GONNA HELP YOUR SIS!!!" Temari screamed

"Hm? What? What is it?" Gaara asked in an annoyed tone.

"STOP A TAXI!!!" Temari screamed.

"Oh that? Sure easy..." Gaara walked out into the street and crushed a couple of cars with his sand, he proceeded to stop a taxi driver by creating a sand speed bump, (that wasn't really a bump)

"Get us to the beach or I'll carve your heart out of your chest and serve it to your children..." Gaara threatened.

"Y-Yes!" The Taxi driver said, obviously terrified.

"There Temari, Happy?" Gaara asked as he slumped down into his seat and continued reading his magazine.

"Thank You" Temari sighed as she slid into the car. "Alright TO THE BEACH!!!!"

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Hurray I ended it in a cliffhanger.

While I have you here I would like to announce a new member of my writing staff....PO PO CHAN THE PANDA...He's my editor.

Po Po Chan: That's really the best name you could give me you stupid flake

Li Li Kun: This is Po Po everybody! Say Hi Po Po.

Po Po: I hope you all die in your sleep.

Li Li: But they're so nice and they leave lots of reviews! Thank You

Po Po: Oh shut up you spaz.

Li Li: Gomenasai! This chapter took A while to write, I had writers block because I couldn't figure out how to get Kanky out of the air vent!

Po Po: No you didn't! You were just busy drinking Ovaltine and playing Final Fantasy.

Li Li: Best Game Ever!!!

Po Po: Whatever,

Li Li: OK! See ya next time!

Po Po & Li LI: BYE BEE


	5. Nightmarish Day Dreams and Blue Gatorade

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LiLi: mmm.... Ovaltine....

PoPo: why do you drink that crap?

LiLi: Why do you eat bamboo PoPo Chan?

PoPo: Touche

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After a long exhausting ride in the crammed taxi, Gaara and Temari finally made it to the resort.

"AT LAST!!!" Temari cried as she stepped out of the Taxi.

"Huzzah...." Gaara muttered sarcastically as he closed his magazine.

The two walked into the hotel and booked their room.

"Ok we're on the top floor..." Temari noticed as she looked at their room keys. The two walked towards the elevator. "Sorry Miss..Elevator out of order..." A Janitor said as he walked by.

"WHAT!? OUT OF ORDER? YOU MEAN WE'RE GONNA HALF TO WALK UP FIFTY FLIGHTS OF STAIRS?" Temari wailed.

"Yep...and is I were you I'd start walking..." The Janitor chuckled.

So with an angry grunt Temari dragged Gaara to the staircase and began climbing.

Around flight of stairs number 15 Gaara made a little sand cloud and started floating up the steps.

"What? You can't make a sand cloud for you poor sister also?" Temari shot bitterly as Gaara raced up the steps without breaking a sweat.

"Sorry little brothers only, no nasty sisters aloud..." Gaara said apathetically.

"Why I oughta..." * The Next Few Words Temari Says Have Been Omitted Due To Unruly Obscenities and Crabby Older Sister Syndrome.*

"Language, Language..." Gaara snickered as Temari screamed out him from twenty flights away. He reached the fiftieth floor and left his sister on flight 23 still screaming obscenities.

**SOME WHERE ON A PLANE**

Kankuro sighed as he sunk into his seat on the plane. Now all he had to do was make it to the resort and find temari and Gaara then everything would be just fine. He wondered what would happen when he finally found them.

**Enter twisted Kankuro Imagination**

_"KANKURO CHAN YOU CAME BACK!!!" Temari cries as she embraces Kankuro in a huge hug and smothers him with kisses._

_"Kankuro we thought you were dead!?" Gaara yells joyously as he join in on the big family hug_

_"Puh-lease Gaara, No one could take out Kankuro and his incredible Karusu! They're just to strong..." Temari smiles as she rubs Gaara's head and shakes her own._

_"WOW BIG BROTHER IF YOUR THAT STRONG THEN I WANNA QUIT SAND AND USE PUPPETS JUST LIKE YOU!!!"_

_"Me too! I mean Giant fans are OK! But they're nothing compared to your puppets!" Temari agrees._

_Then a giant training montage progresses to the tune of "I'll make a man out of you!" From Mulan and "Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting". Within the Monatge Gaara and Temari both make puppets and wear animal ear hoods and put on Makeup. Then Snicker bars begin to fall from the sky and everybody starts to dance and sing, and Unicorns fly out of Rainbows and the whole thing gets turned into a famous Broadway Musical....Yeah...._

**Unenter twisted Kankuro Imagination because it's starting to freak me out and we need to get on with the plot (if there is one) *few***

As Kankuro sat day dreaming away, he didn't notice the two new passengers who had taken a seat beside him. One of them, a pretty girl with long Blonde hair whispered something to the other, a young man with pale skin and bleached white hair. She shot Kankuro a dirty look and proceeded to size him up at last she spoke.

"hey you!"

Kankuro's head shot out of his Day dream. "Who me?"

"No the other freak in the ridiculous hat and funny make up, yes yew!" The man said in a heavy British accent.

"What about me?" Kankuro asked nervously.

" Can't you guys just leave me alone" The girl sighed more to herself then to Kankuro. "I've had enough trouble for one day."

Kankuro tried to figure out what she meant. _Have I been stalking this girl?....No the one I like had black hair. _

"What do you mean?" Kankuro asked

"Please dude anyone can see your a vampire with that ridiculous disguise your wearing." the girl said in a bored tone."

_Vampire? Is this chick serious? The only Vampires I know about are Edmund and Betty from that weird book...what was it called...sunset? _

Kankuro gave up on trying to remember and turned to face thees weirdo's again. "Look I don't know what sort of fiction you've been reading but vampires don't exist..."

"Please don't lie you've already been found out, no need to deny it..." The girl said calmly as she ordered some Gatorade from the flight attendant.

"look if I'm a vampire how come I don't have fangs?" Kankuro asked as he opened his mouth and showed the lady his teeth.

She ignored him and instead said. "Look Gatorade has a new flavor...the flavor of blue...I didn't know blue was a flavor?" She shrugged as she began sipping from the bottle.

"Yew know Buffy he doesn't really look like a vawmpire...more like some sor-a creepy demon..."

"Well whatever it is were staking it the second we make it to the airport."

"YOU'RE GONNA WHAT!?" Kankuro screamed. "LOOK I'M NOT A MONSTER I'M JUST A NINJA OK? A NINJA WHO IS ON VACATION!!!!"

"Silly demon ninja's don't go on vacation's..." The girl laughed as she drank some more Gatorade.

Kankuro was beginning to cry now. "I'm not a demon!!!"

"The haw cum yew got kitty ears...you awvbiously sum sor-a kitten gambling demon..." The british guy said.

Kankuro looked at them with a horrofied expression _thees freaks gamble on kittens!?_

"Look there not kitty ears see..." Kankuro tried to pull his hood off to show that they were fake but as he began to tug he realized it wouldn't come off..."

_DARNIT DARNIT DARNIT!!!!! I KNEW GAARA PUT SUPER GLUE IN MY HOOD THIS MORNING!!!!_

Kankuro tugged frantically he turned to look at the two psycho's next to him....

AHHHHHH-

**We Interrupt this program to bring you...**

"WHADDYA MEAN MOUNT RUSHMORE WAS HERE FIRST!!!!" Naruto screamed as he flung Kunai at the dodging national park ranger. "THATS IT SASUKE GO GET LEE AND GAI-SENSEI!!! WE'RE QUITTING THIS MISSION AND GOING TO THAT RESORT WITH GAARA!!!!

* * *

BUM BUM BUM

Will mayhem ensue now that Naruto and the others are coming to this resort?

Will Kankuro be staked by Buffy?

Will Gaara ever be able to make his Sand Tidal Wave?

Will Lee try to pursue his love for men?

Will Temari Make it up the stairs?

Will James Marsters ever fail at his flawless British accent?

Is Blue Really a Flavor?

Will I ever get any reviews?

And Just who the heck is Seto Kaiba's real father?

The Anwsers Will soon be revealed in the next exciting addition!

* * *

Note: The two people in the plane were Buffy and Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer one of my fave T.V. Shows. I do not own it Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the property of Joss Whedon... Well not anymore since he sold it... but he didn't sell it to me.

Also all the times I mention Ovaltine is not advertising, it's just me expressing myself, you can drink whatever kind of Hot Chocolate you want to drink...

**THE END....I guess....yeah......**


	6. Lord of the Sand

LiLi: Konichiwa!!! How is everybody? I now have 6 reviews on this story!!! 6 IS A MULTIPLE OF 3!!!!!! YAY 3!!!!!

PoPo: Put a sock in it and get on to the good part so I edit this thing and get back to watching punk'd

LiLi: Not so fast PoPo Chan We have a couple of announcements...

PoPo: -.-*

Li Li: Ok first off I would like to pay respect to Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, Fara Faucet, John Hughes, and now Patrick Swayze (I really don't know who most of theese people are I'm just sad they died) May the all R.I.P.

PoPo: You call that an announcement?

Li Li: And another thing...as you all know (or should have known) By birthday was last week and I got a Gaara Plushie!!! (HURRAY!!) Allow me to introduce Chibi Gaara!!! Who will be helping us write this fanfiction.

Chibi Gaara: I'll do my best *look of determination*

Li Li: Kya! So Cute!

Po Po: .....I'm surrounded by idiots

Chibi Gaara and Li Li: We Love you too!!!

*Group Hug*

* * *

Kankuro stared in horror at the vampire slayer who was plotting to kill him.

"Please don't stake me! Please don't stake me!!!" he begged tears in his eyes.

"I don't know buffy he looks pretty hawrmless..." The british guy said

" It's probably just a trick infact with that make up on he almost looks like a bringer, he's better off dead anyway..."

"bu-bu-bu" Kankuro blubbered.

"Whawt ever I'll let yew tawke cawre a this..." The british guy replied. "I'm just gonna wawtch passions on my I-Phone..."

Suddenly Kankuro's eyes lit up. "Hang On! You like Passions?"

The british guy spun around and looked Kankuro in the eye for the first time since he'd sat down. "Do you like it?" He asked

"DUH WHO DOESN'T LIKE PASSIONS!!!" Kankuro cried.

"Oh My Lord!! Have yew seen the episode where-"

"And then she-"

"Oh I Luv that part!"

"Me too..."

**A few moments of coversing over wierd soap opera's later...**

"VICTORIA NO HE'LL BETRAY YOU AGAIN..." The british guy (whoose name is spike by the way) cried

He and Kankuro's eye's were glued to his I-phone watching passions while buffy read a magazine and sipped her gatorade.

After realizing that Kankuro liked passions, all thoughts of him being and evil monster vanished and he and spike became tight in a matter of seconds.

Buffy, feeling quite relaxed with her Gatorade, decided not to bother them and let Kankuro live becuase anyone who watched soap operas couldn't possibly be evil...

"So Kankuro your trying to get to this resort place to find your brother and sister then?'' Buffy conversed aimlessly as she scanned through her magazine looking at shoe prices.

"....." Kankuro didn't answer, he and Spike were to busy bawling becuase anthony had just gotten hit by a car leaving Jessica pregnant and Brittany with a huge debt.

"WHY ANTHONY?" Spike yelled as he banged his head on the chair in front of him.

"HE WAS SO YOUNG!!!" Kankuro sobbed.

"Awww...how cute..." Buffy thought to herself...."Blondie bear made a friend who understands him....isn't that heart warming..."

With that she took another sip of gatorade finishing the bottle.

**Now that, thats over...**

Gaara observed his hotel room.

It was nice...he had a video game system...(no games though) a dvd player, a flat screen T.V. a big fuzzy red bed, bean bags, two arm chairs and a thing of snacks. (LiLi: I WANNA STAY THERE IT SOUNDS NICE!!!!)

His room was right next to Temari and Kankuro' s (they each have there own room because boys can't sleep with girls and neither Temari nor Kankuro wanted to sleep with Gaara...)

Gaara didn't take to much time to observe it though, _time to go make my sand hurricane..... _He thought evily as he pulled on a pair of black swim trunks and headed outside.

On the way down he passed Temari who was still on flight of stairs number 34 and was still weezing obscenties.(Temari's has a potty mouth)

"Goin to the beach bye..." Gaara called as he raced by his sister.

"I'll...Kill...You...." Temari gasped.

**A FEW OBSCENITIES LATER...**

_Finally! _Gaara thought as he stared out at the crowded beach. _Now I can make my sand wave and crush all theese miserable lower life forms...MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!_

"HEY MISTER" Yelled a small voice

Gaara looked down. A puny little boy was looking up at with an angry glare.

"....what...." Gaara grumbled impatiently, upset he was still going to have to wait to toture that grandpa over there who was trying to work on his tan but only managing to get burned.

"YOU STEPPED ON MY SAND CASTLE YOU JERK!!!" The kid screamed

Gaara stared at his foot, sure enough there was a tiny sand mound that was smushed under his foot. "oh...umm...sorry...." Gaara said unconvincingly.

"YEAH YOU BETTER BE!!!" The kid screamed his face turning red "THAT WAS GONNA BE THE BEST CASTLE IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!!"

"puh..." Gaara chuckled quietly, The kid turned on him his face growing even more red..."Are you laughing at my sand castle..." He said dangerously...

"umm...well no....it's just...""

"JUST WHAT HUH BUDDY!?" The kid shreiked (this kid has anger management issues...)

"Well...umm...it's just kinda small...." Gaara said gently

**"I'LL RIP YOUR UGLY MUG RIGHT OFF YOUR FACE!!!!" **The kid shouted as he pounced on Gaara. Gaara quickly dodged.

"Hey it's ok just calm down..." but the kid wasn't listening

"I BET I COULD MAKE A BETTER SAND CASTLE THEN YOU STRAWBERRY!!!"

"Strawberry?...Nevermind...look I'm not sure you know this but I'm Sabaku no Gaara Ok I'm practically the lord of sand Ok kid? You don't want to get in a sandcastle competition with me got it?" Gaara said feeling annoyed.

The kid just glared and yelled "WHATS THE MATTER ARE YOU CHICKEN?"

"No...I just...""

"BAWK BAWK BAWK"

"Hey cutt it out!"

"BAWK BAWK BAWK BAWK!!!"

"That's really imature..."

"BAWKITY BAWKITY BAWK!"

"THATS IT KID YOU ARE ON!!!" Gaara shouted.

Before the kid could even react Gaara was already putting his sand to work. People screamed as huge waves of sand flew into the sky and began to form bricks and flags and the like.

The kid not to be out down so fast grabbed his pale and shovel and began digging like crazy.

Gaara folded his arms and smiled as his project did itself.

The kid panted as beads of sweat poured down his head.

"FINISHED!!!!" The kid screamed as he beheld a tiny pillar with a shell on it...

"Cool...Not bad..." Gaara mused... "Now what do you think of....MINE!!!"

The kids jaw dropped as he beheld a life size Roman fortress complete with sand soliders and horses that moved.

"h-how..." The kid said.

"Told you, lord of the sand..." Gaara said contently...

The kids face turned bright purple...

"YOU STUPID UGLY JERK MORON BLAH BLAH BLAHBITY BLAH!!!"

Gaara decided the kids screams were getting annoying so he gagged him with sand and built a sand cage around him...

''...LORD OF THE SAND..." he shouted as he walked away leaving the kid in the tiny cage...

**TO BE CONTINUED....**

* * *

Chibi Gaara: Did I do good?

LiLi: Yes you did very good...XD

PoPo: whatever...see you soon

LiLi: You wanna help me say good bye Gaara?"

Chibi Gaara: Yeah!

LiLi & Chibi Gaara: BYE BEE

Po Po: My life was hard enough when there was only one of you...


	7. Stuff Happens

Chibi Gaara: ....hi...everybody....ummm...PoPo and LiLi are getting ready for the chapter...so they let me open up....by myself...*looks like he's gonna faint from shyness* Pl-Please Enjoy...

* * *

Gaara walked triumphantly across the beach. He had never felt so proud! Now all he had to do was make his sand wave and then NOTHING COULD STOP HIM!!!

"Kid Look Out!!" Gaara heard someone call he turned just in time to see a girl run straight into him. "Gahhh!" He yelled as she pummeled him into the ground. (Ouch...) Luckily the sand had absorbed most of the impact.

"...irk..." He heard the girl hiss under her breath as she pulled herself off of him. As he himself got up he came face to face with the her. She had a pair of bright blue eyes and wild sandy hair that looked like it had been recently cut short.

"Oh Hi!!" She stuttered her face turning red as she tried to get up but only managed to fall-over again.

"Hi..." He replied calmly as he as he lended her his hand to heave herself up on. She looked him up and down trying to decide what to make of him...she then spoke. "umm....gomenasai I wasn't paying attention and sort of ran into you..."

"Why were you running?" Gaara asked surprised to hear her speaking Japanese (note: I don't really speak Japanese). The girl just shrugged...I like to run...she was smiling awkwardly in a way that sort of broke her face, she bunched her arms up nervously and refused to meet his eyes.

Awkward Silence ensues....

"....oh! umm... I'm Li..." She said bashfully as she stuck her hand out... (LiLi: HOLY CRAP I'M IN THIS FANFICTION)"...or at least that's what my friends call me..." she murmured quietly

"So Li's not your name?"

"No..."

"So...what is your name?"

"ummmm.....uhhhhh...." Li frantically racked her brain trying to remember her name but the whole flying into a random guy had frazzled her brain to the point where she pretty much was about ready to splode... (for those who don't know me...I am so bad with boys and people I don't know that If I were to run into you on the beach this is exactly how I would act....no joke..)

"Ok it doesn't matter I'll call you Li..." Gaara said.

"Oh ok...whats your name?"

"Sabaku no Gaara..." Gaara said calmly

"Oh Hello!!!" Li smiled cheerfully as she shook Gaara's hand. Suddenly her eyes lit up and her smile got even wider..."LETS GET ICE CREAM!!!" She declared as she watched a random vendor walk by selling Ice Cream.

Li reached into the pockets of her shorts., (she's wearing a white bikini with jean shorts...)

"come on, come on...." she mumbled under her breath as she searched for loose change, she pulled out a busted I-pod with the top taped on, a half eaten cookie, a dead spider, a coupon to Walmart, a button, and a picture of a puppy.

"....no money...." She whimpered sadly as she stared at her concelation prizes...

Her sorrowful blue eyes moved hopefully to Gaara...

Gaara looked at her..."What? I'm not paying for you!!"

*Puppy Dawg eyes...*

"No..."

*quivering lower lip*

"....no?..."

*Tears welling up in eyes..."

"Lets see if I have any money..."

He reached into the pockets of his trunks...all he found was sand...

"Oh well no money..." He said..."

"....mmmmm....." Li curled into a little ball of misery and muttered sadly to herself.

Suddenly a black ball of swiping fury zoomed by Gaara and grabbed Li by her head. A girl with dark skin and long curly black hair stood there shaking Li's head back in fourth.

"STOP MOOCHING OFF OF COMPLETE STRANGERS YOU MOOCHY MOOCHER!!!!"

"...but Lucy they had Ice cream...." Li whined.

" Ughh! that's no reason to steal peoples moneys..."

"I wasn't stealing..."

"Did you do the puppy eyes thing?"

"....maybe..."

"THAT'S THE EXACT SAME THING AS STEALING"

"Please let go of my face...."

Reluctantly the other girl let go of Li's face before delivering a large whack across her head

Li: x.x

She approached Gaara sticking her hand out... "I'm Lucy...sorry about my friend she still isn't properly trained..."

"I'm not a doggy..." Li wailed as she rubbed her head.

"Shut Up..."

"Nice to meet you..." Gaara said as he shook Lucy's hand. "I'm Sabaku no Gaara..."

Lucy stared at him for a moment. "Your gonna have to cut the Japanese cuz I didn't understand one words you said....I only speak Greek...."

"I understand!" Li said proudly "His name is Gaara of the dessert!"

"LIKE AFTER DINNER DESSERT!" Lucy exclaimed excitedly

"YEAH!!!" Li said happily "HE'S GONNA MAKE US ICE CREAM AND CAKE AND OREOS AND COBBLERS AND ICE CREAM.... AND ICE CREAM!"

"actually it's dessert like the really dry place with lots of sand...."

Lucy and Li froze dejectedly and hung their heads..."oh..." the muttered

"...umm....guys..." said a quiet voice. Gaara turned and saw yet another girl. This one had wavy blonde hair and light skin making her look very white and pretty.

Gaara rolled his eyes as she approached. _Where are all these females coming from...this must be some sort of bizarre punishment for leaving Kankuro at the airport._

**Speaking of Kankuro**

"JESSICA'S PREGNANT AGAIN!?  
NO DON'T GIVE THE BABY AWAY!!!! IT WILL ONLY END IN PAIN!!!"

**Oh wait I forgot...he's not doing anything important...**

"Let me guess...." Gaara said flatly..." You like Ice Cream, you're these guys friend and you're about to apologize for their faults even though your equally as abnormal..."

The blonde just laughed and said... "Ha Ha the words you use are really large... I'm Maddie...I like Ice cream, these guys are my friends...sorry they're a little weird."

"...yeah..." Gaara said

"THIS IS GAARA HE LIVES IN A DESSERT!!!!" Li announced

Maddie's face lit up... "YOU LIVE IN ICE CREAM?"

"NO!" Gaara shouted a little to loudly making all the girls flinch and huddle together in a scared kinda way.

"ummm.... I mean...no...I live in.... a dessert...like the sand pit's with the cactus's..."

"Oh well that makes alot more sense..." Maddie smiled.

"Hey! Can Gaara Chan come over and play video games? PLEASE!!!!" Li begged getting on her knees and giving Lucy puppy eyes.

"Well I don't know..."

"PWEEEEEAAAAAASE" Li and Maddie said in unison.

"Ughh FINE!!" Lucy yelled whacking them both multiple times.

"Uhh...actually I have this sand wave to make..." Gaara said trying to edge away. The last thing he wanted was to be taken captive by thees freaks.

"VIDEO GAMES!!!!!" Li Maddie yelled as the grabbed Gaara's arms and raced towards the hotel...

"Slow down..." Lucy called as she panted behind slowly. "I'm to weak..." She cried faintly as she trotted after them.

**SHOOP DOOP DOOPITY DOOP!!!**

In a matter of minutes Li and Maddie had managed to tug Gaara up to their hotel room. "Knock Knock!" Li said cheerfully as she banged on the door. "BELLA WERE COMING IN!!!!"

_Dear god not another freaky girl... _Gaara dreaded silently

The door slowly creaked open.

A Girl with thick brown hair and a pair of glasses stood there scowling. "You geeks interrupted my emo-ness." She growled.

"Where's PO-PO Chan" Li Li said obliviously as she led Gaara into the room.

"He got all freaked out because you spelled the word because wrong eighteen times in this fan-fiction, so he went to go buy some Chinese food."

"When was that exactly?" Li said

"About two days ago..."

"Ok..." Li smiled "What game do you wanna play Gaara?" She asked smiling as Lucy finally entered the room.

"Well what games do you have?" Gaara asked

"We have two games..." Bella said in a monotone as she picked dirt out from under her fingernails. "We have Halo 3 and we have Pet Vet 7: Adventures on Guinea Pig Island."

Gaara weighed his choices. "Halo 3 sounds ok..." He said quietly.

"AWWW but we were just about to rescue the bunny from the sand pit..." Madlyn whined.

"Thats ok! We'll rescue floppy tommorow..." Li said as she popped the disk in.

As the weird male opera music started to play everyone grabbed remotes.

"Ok custom games..." Li muttered as she pressed a couple of buttons.

"I say we do Slayer on Construct..." Lucy decided

"Nuh uh! We're gonna do Ninjanaut on Isolation!" Li protested

"I wanna do King of the Hill on Vahalla" Maddie put in.

"How bout we do Odd Ball on epitah!" Bella suggested

All four girls looked at Gaara expectantly.

"umm....whatever the first one was?" he tried

Lucy yelled triumphantly as the other three let out groans.

"I call purple!" Li yelled

"I'll be blue!" Lucy said clicking her button

" I wanna be Gold..." Maddie smiled

"That makes me Black..." Bella noted

"Guess I'll be red..." Gaara murmured as he fumbled with the remote trying to figure out how to use it.

"Beep...Beep...Booooooop!" The game said as the screen faded to black, signaling the start of the tournament.

**ENTERING GAME MODE!!!!**

Ok guys quick side note...Game mode will just be the game and the players talking...no descirption. It'll be like reading a gamer log except funnier. OH and here's the screen names

Li= JediGirl (I heart star wars)

Lucy= WickedAwseome (her catch phrase)

Maddie= Amazingness (cuz it was the first thing that came to mind

Bella= SayakuBlood (her screen name on Quizilla)

Gaara= Gaara (cuz Gaara's not original)

**GAMER MODE BEGIN**

_Amazingness committed suicide..._

JediGirl: What the crap Maddie you died already?

Amazingness: I slipped!

_SayakuBlood picked up energy sword_

WickedAwseome: AHHHH!!! BELLA FOUND THE ENERGY SWORD RUN!!!!

Gaara: What?

_Gaara was killed by SayakuBlood_

SayakuBlood: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Amazingness: ZOMG SHE KILLED GAARA CHAN!!!!

WickedAwseome: I told him to run!

SayakuBlood: YOU ALL WILL DIE MWAHAHAHA!!!

WickedAwseome: Quick Somebody find the flame thrower!!

_JediGirl picked up Spartan Laser_

JediGirl: Hey I found the laser gun! I didn't know it was in this area!

WickedAwseome: That's not gonna help you against Bella!

JediGirl: Guess your right...

_JediGirl just vaporised WickedAwseome_

WickedAwseome: THAT'S NOT FAIR!!!!

JediGirl: Sure it is! You know the rule! All's fair in love and war!

WickedAwseome: Guess your right!

_WickedAwseome just shot down JediGirl_

JediGirl: Touche

_Gaara just picked up flamethrower_

Gaara: Whats this thing do?

_Amazingness was burnt to death by Gaara_

Amazingness: Gaara killed me? I really do suck at this game:(

Gaara: SWEET THIS THING SHOOTS FIRE!

JediGirl: Hence the name Flame Thrower

SayakuBlood: OH NO FIRE MY ONE WEAKNESS...

Gaara: DIE DIE DIE DIE MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

_JediGirl, SaiyakuBlood, WickedAwseome, and Amazingness were all just burnt alive by Gaara_

WickedAwseome: DEAR GOD WE'VE CREATED A MONSTER!!!

SayakuBlood: That's it I'm gonna go back to being emo...

_SayakuBlood has left the game_

Amazingness: Is It to late to go rescue Floppy?

JediGirl: We cannot quit now! We must destroy what we've created!

Gaara: Give up now! You'll never win! I have the flame thrower and am there fore undefeatable!

JediGirl: You may have the Flame Thrower but you cannot win!!!

Gaara: Why not foolish Jedi!

JediGirl: Because I have friends friends who can help me!

Gaara: Oh god not another friendship speech! I get way to many of those from Naruto! Now shut up and let me kill you

JediGirl: Your overconfidence is your weakness!

Gaara: Your faith in your friends is yours!

JediGirl: OH YEAH!!! LUCY NOW!!!

WickedAwseome: Bombs Away!!!

_WickedAwseome just threw the spike grenade_

Gaara: Your foolish bombs are no match TAKE THIS!!!

_WickedAwseome is being burned by Gaara_

Amazingness: LUCY!!!

WickedAwseome: You...must..carry on...without me...

_WickedAwseome died_

JediGirl: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gaara: Your friend is weak!

JediGirl: Yeah? Well suck on this!!

_JediGirl picked up Rocket Launcher_

Gaara: Impossible!!!!

JediGirl: Bye BEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

_Gaara was sploded by JediGirl_

_GAME OVER!!!!!_

* * *

" Hurray! I won woop woop woop woop" Li cheered as she did a victory dance in front of the T.V.

"That game was boring..." Gaara complained

"Hey whose up for a re-match on Gaurdian!" Lucy called

"MEEEE!!!!" Everyone said

**BACK FAR AWAY!!!**

"Nice meetin ya Kanky!" Buffy said as she waved good bye to Kankuro.

"See ya guys later!" He said

"Toadtally cawl me lawter bro!!!" Spike called giving Kankuro a teary hug.

"Will do man, Will do..." Kankuro said sadly.

He watched as his new friends left.

He then turned and walked out of the airport.

"Time to find my sibs!!!" He yelled as he charged out of the airport

"KID LOOK OUT FOR THAT BANANA PEEL!!!!" Someone yelled

_Kankuro was just beat down by Bananas4Bananas16_

_GAME OVER!!!!_

**TO BE CONTINUED!!!**

**

* * *

**

LiLi: Someone stole me Ovaltine and I'm sad!!!

ChibiGaara: It's Ok...

LiLi: where's Po PO

ChibiGaara: He went to go get some Chinese because you kept spelling awesome wrong

LiLi: When was that?

ChibiGaara: 6 months ago...

LiLi:..Oh :)


	8. Carrots!

LiLi: **GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!**

PoPo: What is it now?

ChibiGaara: Li Li Kun stubbed her toe on a no parking sign and it really hurts...

LiLi: IT'S BLEEDING ON MY SHOE!!!!

PoPo: Serves you right! You should watch where your going!

LiLi: STUPID NO PARKING SIGN!!! MARK MY WORDS YOU WILL PAY FOR MY TOE!!!

ChibiGaara: *gasp* Li Li's going into an avenger comma!!!

PoPo: What the crap is an avenger comma?

ChibiGaara: It's when something pisses you off, and you start wanting revenge and then you turn totally stupid and evil...

PoPo: THATS NOT TRUE YOU DILUTED PLUSHIE!!!

ChibiGaara: Sure it is! What do you think Sasuke suffers from all the time...

PoPo: ...now that you mention it he is pretty stupid...

ChibiGaara: It's OK I know the cure!

PoPo: Well what is it...

ChibiGaara: LiLi I found your Ovaltine

LiLi: YOU DID!!!! :D *showers gaara in lotsa hugs and kisses* you're so smart you cute little plushie! yes you are! yes you are!

PoPo: -_-X(note: I actually did stub my toe, It actually bled allover everything, and I actually found my Ovaltine...Yay)

LiLi: Before we start I should get this over with, I do not own Naruto, Buffy, Halo 3, Pet Vet, Disney, Bleach, or a cactus wearing sunglasses.

Also I would like to thank NatCat5 for leaving all the nice reviews. And I'd also like to thank her for writing a very funny Fan-fiction about Naruto People who turn into Zodiac Animals. Needless to say you gave me inspiration.

* * *

(note: this opening is loosely based on 16 candles)

"ummm... excuse me?" came a voice.

Kankuro opened his eyes to see a pair of annoyed brown eyes staring at him.

"hemflognoobenheiser..." Kankuro mumbled trying to remember where he was.

"yeah..." the guy with the brown eyes said sarcastically, "Look dude, you slipped on a Banana Peel like an hour ago are you Ok?"

" Banana Peel?"

"Yeah I decided to wake you up Becuase that dog over there looked like it was gonna piss on you..."

"Doggy's are cute..."

The guy gave Kankuro a hard glare. "Look are you Ok or not...?"

"..I'm not OK!!! I'm Kankuro...." Kankuro said still trying to sort through his pounding head (Kankuro is a representation of me on Thursdays....worst day of the week EVER!!!)

" Hello Kankuro..." The guy said sarcastically

" who you?"

" Me? I'm Ichigo Kurosaki...(ZOMG IT'S BAKA ICHI!!)

" Cheese go Kamekazi? Weird name dude..." Kankuro giggled as he looked up at the Orange Haired school boy.

" Your one to talk Mr. Cat ears and Makeup..."

" I'm a Ninja!" Kankuro said proudly...

" Good for you..." Ichigo said wondering how long it was gonna take this joker to die. Suddenly realization flooded over him as the words ninja echoed in his ears...

" YOU!!! YOUR ONE OF THOSE SISSY NINJA FROM THAT CRAPPY NARUTO MANGA AREN'T YOU!!!"

Kankuro was beginning to come around and was paying closer attention to the situation. "I guess so...?" He anwsered

"YOU UGLY CRAP HEAD I'LL OBLITERATE YOU!!!!" Orangey screamed as he lunged at Kankuro grabbing him by the neck

"WHOA WHAT THE HECK DUDE!!!" Kankuro gasped as Ichigo wrung his neck.

"YOU STUPID NINJA STOLE ALL MY FANS!!!" He screamed.

Suddenly a evil smirk spread across Kankuro's face. "Oh I remember you! Your that shinigami guy who shows up at all of our cons and throws tomatoes at the building. Whats? The matter! Can't hurt me cuz your sword can only kill dead people!"

"I KILL YOU AND THEN KILL YOU AGAIN!!!! AND THEN I'LL FIND YOUR REINCARNATION AND I'LL KILL THAT TOO " Ichigo raved. (and you wonder why I hate bleach)

"Geez you're starting to sound like Sasuke..." Kankuro laughed

"I DO NOT HAVE A DUCKS BUTT FOR HAIR!!!!"

Suddenly Ichi's voice changed it's tone drastically. "ugh not you again...this vacation is such a drag..."(why is everyone on vacation on the exact same day?)

Ichigo suddenly spun around. "NOT YOU TOO!!!" He cried.

Kankuro looked up. There stood Shikamaru. (Yay shika-kun)

"YOU VOICEY MICK VOICE STEALER!!!" Ichigo accused. "Not only did you steal my fans but you stole my voice! When people watch bleach all they can think is Wow Ichigo has the exact same voice as Shikamaru!!! But nobody ever recognizes you as my voice!!!! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM Huh?" (In Case you don't understand whats happening Ichigo and Shikmaru have a voice that sounds very similar they're not actually the same voice actor though)

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and stomped on Ichigo's head burying it into the ground. The Impact was so great that Bleach was canceled

**THE END (of Bleach YAY!!!)**

**FIVE SECONDS LATER....**

Kankuro picked himself up still dizzy from the whole banana peel incident. He looked at Shikamaru...

Awkward silence....

"So....why are you here again..." Kankuro tried to be conversational.

"well I was supposed to be on Vacation but then Lady Tsunade gave me a baby sitting job..." Shikamaru complained

"OH WHO'RE YOU BABY SITTING!?" Kankuro exclaimed with joy. (little known fact Kankuro adores chibi's...not really...)

Shikamaru gave Kankuro a funny look reached behind his back and pulled out...** (WARNING: Natcat5 this ones for you) **

"A BUNNY RABBIT!!!!" Kankuro exclaimed as he lunged at the small creature Shikamaru was supposed to be watching.

"NO KANKURO WAI-" Shikamaru yelled but Kankuro had already picked up the bunny and was spinning around in a circle singing "LITTLE BUNNY FOO FOO HOPPIN IN THE STREET PICKIN UP THE DUMB BIRDS AND BOPPIN UM ON THE HEAD!!!!" (when I was little I'd sing this song day in and day out)

"Kankuro stop it!" Shikamaru screeched snatching the bunny back. "If you freak him out he's gonna pee all over the place."

"But he's so cute wittle bunee guy...." Kankuro said.

"He's not a bunny guy..." Shikamaru said as he calmed the frightened bunny down. "...He's Negi"

_**ZOMG SHOCK NEGI IS A BUNNY WOAAAAAAHHHHH SHOCK SHOCK SHOCK I NEED TO FIND A THERAPIST GWAHAHAHAHAHAHA BUNNY NEGI!!!!!**_

"Negi!?" Kankuro exclaimed in surprise. "How'd he get all....furry?"

"Naruto was playing with lady hokage's potions and he spilled them all over Negi and Shino..."

"Ewww..." Kanuro said. "Wait then what happened to Shino?"

"He's right here..." Shikamaru said as he produced. (drum Roll...) A CACTUS WEARING SUNGLASSES...

Kankuro stared at it...

The cactus stared back...

"So can he like...think?" Kankuro asked

"Who? Shino? Yeah he can think...He's gonna be Ticked off when this whole thing is over..."

"What about Negi?"

"He's a little bit more on the not thinking side..." Shikamaru said as he observed the bunny which was now trying to eat his hair.

" He can talk though!" Shikamaru pointed out... "Negi Speak!" He commanded as if he were talking to a puppy...

"CARRROTS!!!!" Negi Squealed.

**Somewhere Where children play Halo 3**

"Gaara please pass the cheezit's" Lucy said as she threw a grenade at Bella who replied by swinging her power axe.

Gaara tossed her the bowl as he beat down Maddie.

LiLi was observing her Gatorade bottle in the in between time of her rebirth. "Gatorade has a new flavor...Blue..."

"Hey that's a Buffy line!" Lucy pointed out as she accidentally fell off a cliff.

"Wouldn't it be cool if Buffy really existed and was in a city nearby and all we had to do was go find her..." Maddie said

"Oh don't be stupid... everybody knows Buffy doesn't exist, and even if she did, there's no way she'd be in a city nearby."

**SOMEWHERE IN A CITY NEARBY**

"GEORGIA NO!!!! CAWNER STEEL LUVES YEW!!!!"

"Shut up spike..."

"Sawrry Buffy"

"Gatorade has a new flavor...Blue..."

**.....uhhhh.......**

Just then there was a knock at the door. "I got it!!!" Bella said as she rushed to open the door.

She opened it to find a small Panda about 2 feet tall standing in the doorway.

"Hi POPO CHAN!!!!" LiLi gushed.

PoPo sighed the most Emo sigh he could manage and slowly started. "I'm Back...not that any of you lower life forms noticed my absence and while I'm here let me just say there are a bunch of psycho cosplayers out here your stupid fanfiction attracted."

LiLi's blue eyes popped open. "COSPLAYER'S!!!" She gasped as she rushed to open the door even more then it was already opened.

There stood Naruto, Sasuke and of course...Tarzan.

"Hey Naruto..." Gaara waved as he sploded Maddie.

"Hey Gaara! We heard you were having a great vaction Fanfic so we decided to show up and bring all of our friends who aren't bunnies and cactusses, and this monkey guy..."

Tarzan: "ooo ooo ahhh ahhh"

PoPo: you spelled Cactusses wrong.

"Wait a minute..." Bella gasped. " I know you! your Naruto Uzumaki from Naruto!!!! Your SO AWSEOME CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH!!!" Bella did a fangirl screech as best as an emo girl can.

Sasuke gave a little cough... "Don't you want...MY autograph..."

Bella looked at him blankly...

"Who are you?"

Sasuke glared... "AUGHHHHH!!!! I'M GONNA GO LOOK FOR ITACHI!!!" He moped.

As Sasuke moped away he didn't notice Tarzan take off his mask to reveal...

*GASPS ALL OVER ROOM* "TARZAN!!!" Naruto cried. "YOUR ITACHI?!"

"Yeah..." Itachi said. "I was just waiting for that emo kid to leave..." Quietly he tiptoed over to the window.

"Guys it's Ok! Emo Kid is gone..." There were shouts of triumph as all the Akatsuki members climbed in through the hotel window.(at this point I really have lost all plot ideas and am just writing whatever the heck I want)

Bella gave Deidara a blushy look. "Hey DeiDei kun..." She waved.

Deidara responded by winking and doing that thing where you lick your finger and make a siiiiisss noise as you place it on your butt. (very charming)

Naruto looked shocked. "I thought you were evil!"

Itachi gave him a funny look... "We're not evil!"

"You're not?"

"No are you kidding we just like purple nail polish and wearing these cool cloak things we're actually a dance crew!"

"Seriously?" Maddie said

"Yeah!" Itachi said as he demonstrated some break dance moves.

"Well dance crew or not you're not gonna fit in my room so back out the window!" LiLi demanded. "Except for you Deidara you can stay...'

"YAY!!!" Deidara cheered as he did a victory dance.

"And tobi can stay too..." LiLi decided

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Deidara said as he fell on the floor in depression

"Tobi is a good boy" Tobi said

"YES WE KNOW ALREADY!!!" Lucy yelled. (seriously that's like all tobi says anymore)

In his rage Deidara made a bomb and blew up the video games.

"Deidara!!" Maddie cried as she looked at the fried XBOX

"Deidara is not a good boy..." Tobi said

"Deidara you and Tobi need to work out your issues in...TIME OUT!!!" Lucy said in a scary voice.

"WHAT!?" Deidara and Tobi said in terror.

"You heard the girl!" LiLi said.

"PoPo your in-charge of those two!" Bella said.

"Joy..." PoPo said emoilly

" Everybody else get your swimsuits on!" Li Li said

"Why?" Gaara asked as he dropped the fried game remote.

"Because we're goin to the pool!!!"

**TO BE CONTINUED!!!!**


	9. A Short Omake

Hey guys this is sort of one of my babbles posts where I just type stuff. The new chapter is not out but we'll be coming out soon.

I just thought I'd give you the 411 on whats been going on in my life so you can all be prepared for the many things to come or somwthing like that.

First off, I wanna thank Natcat5, Huero Eruki, SachiHatana, wickedawseome12, megamansonicfan105, XxBlackRose5153xX, and Bella for leaving me reviews and subscribing to my stuff. I also want to thank all the other people who added this story to their favorites and made me feel good about myself.

I would like to apologize for the way the story lost plot on the last chapter. I'm going to try to get us back on track in the next one. I don't think I've typed myself into a corner yet, but if I need to erase anything previously typed you'll be the first to know.

I also would like to take the time to apologize for my absence. I was on vacation for 9 days and went all over Georgia, North Carolina, Tennese, Florida, Illinois, Kentucky, Japan, Ireland, and natutally the middle kingdom. (not really but I did go on vacation)

It's still going to be a while before I post my next chapter because I really don't know what I'm going to do. If anyone has any requests other then Deidara taking his shirt off (Bella) I'd love to hear them.

One last thing, If your reasing this right now please press the review button and leave a couple of words. They don't even have to make sense. I just would like to get a head count on my readers becuase so I can possibly hold a.... (drumroll)

**FANFICTION CONTEST!!!**

Some where in the near future their may be a contest with fabulous prizes and I want people to participate. Don't worry about safety and stuff, I'm not going to ask for your address or phone number or email, I'll post the prize write here on fanfiction. Just respond to the story and say I wanna participate and the details will come in the next chapter.

One last thing. A new story might be on the way for me. I'm still trying to work out all the kinks but be prepared for some new material. It'll probably be posted when this story is over and done with. But if it isn't my chapters will probably be moving slower then they are now cuz concentrating on two stories at once is enough to fry my brain cells.

Thats pretty much it. If you haven't skipped over this because it wasn't the chapter, or called the police because you think I'm an eighty year old trying to get at little children, press repond and enter the competition.

Thanx

-Li Li


	10. CONTEST INFO! PLEASE READ!

Heh Heh...Hey everybody so I know I haven't updated in a while,

It's becuase I've been working on some other stuff...also becuase I've been having a hard time trying to figure out what to write next,

But I do Have a contest ready...

**SUPER SPEACIAL CONTEST OF WONDER AND HEART FELT JOY!!!**

So basically for the contest what you have to do is write a short and funny oneshot about Gaara

Oh yes it is that simple!

Just post the link of your story in the review box, It doesn't have to be on just an internet site where I can read it, don't email it to me!

**RULES**

1. No romance:

Please guys...I mean a little flirtation is ok but I don't wanna read about Gaara finding true love at last or something...I'm generally oposed to the Idea

2. No Mature Content

You no what I mean, and trust me when I say, I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT STUFF

3. Make it funny

And not in the weird way...

4. Be original

If I find out that your story is just an SNL Rip off, I will be angry

5. Have fun with it

Trust me toturing these people with extreme randomness is one of the funnest things I've ever done, make it lots of fun!

**Thats about it... so post a link in my review box with your story, and I'll take look and tell you what I think**

**1rst Prize is: A story about anything you like And a drawing on Deviantart as well**

**2nd Prize is: A drawing**

**and 3rd prize is: An Appearance in one of my Fanfictions**

**Stories are due back on Christmas Day**

**And Results will come out on New years**

**HAVE FUN!!!!**


	11. Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum!

YES I AM FINALLY RELEASING THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!

**NEXT CHAPTER!!!!**

Akatsuki was very sad that they had been kicked out of the hotel room...and when Akatsuki gets sad...AKATSUKI GETS MAD!!!!

So while everyone was swimming in the pool, Kisame found a radio and started playing Jaws Music.

"Do you hear something?" Gaara asked. He had decided not to go swimming because he there were fat men in the pool.

"It's Just the wind..." Naruto said.

"What about that music?"

"Thats just the w-"

Just then Kisame flew out of the Water and ate Maddie Li Lucy Naruto and all the fat man, then he descended into the dark depths of the pool.

Gaara blinked. "This has to be the wierdest vacation ever..."

He looked over, there was a cactus standing next to him.

Gaara stared at it..."I Shall name him Jeremy..." He announced as he picked up the cactus and carried it away.

Temari had been climbing stairs for three days. "SO HUNGRY..." She cried as she dragged herself up the stairs. Just then she heard two familiar voices.

"GAI SENSEI!!! IF WE CAN CLIMB THESE STAIRS OF YOUTH WE SHALL BE THE BRAVEST MEN IN THE LAND!!!"

"YES LEE!!! JUST THREE HUNDRED MORE STEPS TO GO!!!"

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Temari screamed as she turned around to see the Lee and Gai running up the stairs.

"Hello Tamaki!" Gai yelled.

"Dear God, Please don't let me break my neck, love Temari..." Temari prayed as she launched herself off the stair case.

Temari fell three thousand flights of stairs and landed on her face.

"Ow...."

"CARROTS!!" Temari looked up to see Shikamaru and a Bunny.

"Why did you just jump off a three thousand flight staircase?" Shikamaru asked.

Temari just cried.

Gaara was having a great time now that those scary fangirls were dead. He bought Ice Cream with Jeremy, He terroized tourists with Jeremy, He built sand castles with Jeremy, He killed people with Jeremy, and he lit things on fire with Jeremy. He was having the time of his life until-

"GAARA!!!!" Gaara looked over to see Kankuro racing towards him. "I MISSED YOU!!!"

Gaara dodged expertly missing Kankuro's hug of death.

Kankuro didn't notice. "I WAS SO SCARED!!! I WAS IN A TINY ROOM AND AND THERE WAS A MEANIE LADY AND AND THE CANDY BAR AND THE FREAKY VAMPIRE LADY WITH THE GATORADE AND THEN THERE WAS THAT SAMURAI AND THE RABBIT AND THE THE THE!"

"Kankuro calm down..." Gaara said as he patted Kanky on the head.

Kankuro noticed the cactus. "AGHHH!!! IT's SHINO!!!" In complete and total terror Knakuro grabbed the Shino Cactus and flung it into the ocean.

"JEREMY NOOOO!!!!!" Gaara screamed. He then turned on Kankuro. "YOU KILLED MY ONLY FRIEND!" Kankuro looked confused.

"You're only friend was a cactus?"

"YES!!!"

"GAARA-SAMA!!!" Gaara Froze. Kankuro gasped.

Both of them turned around in slow motion.

"GAARA SAMA!!! I found you! Why didn't you return my phone calls? I left 69 of them! And I emailed you three thousand letters about my undying love for you! Why didn't you return them?"

"It Can't be!!! Kankuro gasped.

"H-HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!!!" Gaara cried.

In front of them was the worlds biggest, perkiest, scariest fan girl otaku stalker to ever be placed inside the fictional world of fiction EVER!!!

"YOU!"

"YOU!"

"Who me?"

That's right...It's Matsuri.

**_*gasps for breath*!!!!_**

(Not Maturi...)


	12. THE EPIC FINALE OF TOTAL EPICNESS!

Yeah...so...I guess there isn't anyway I could apologize for all the waiting I've made you guys do...

BUT FEAR NOT! FOR I SHALL NOT TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT AND QUIT HERE AND NOW! I WILL CONTINUE THIS FAN FICTION! I ALWAYS RETURN! LIKE WESTLEY AND HIS TRUE LOVE...OR LIKE OROCHIMARU...OR LIKE TERMITES!

IN FACT! THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER!

Bum Bum BUM!

* * *

(Note: The Following Fanfiction Contains References to: Soul Eater, Bleach, Inuyasha, Invader Zim, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Twilight, One Piece, Full Metal Alchemist, Death Note, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Pirates of The Caribbean, Star Wars, Star Trek, and of course, Little Kuriboh...)

LAST TIME ON, VACATIONS GONE HORRIBLY WRONG:

Temari fell down three thousand flights of stairs to avoid the incredibly stupid Lee and Gai

Akatsuki ate Naruto, a bunch of Fangirls, and Fat Men...

Po Po went for Chinese

Gaara lost his only friend Shino (AKA: Jeremy) The Cactus

Kankuro was reunited with his Family

Will and Elizabeth finally got married

Buffy Drank Gatorade.

Neji Turned into a Bunny

Sasuke was Emo

Ichigo got his butt kicked

AND MATSURI MAKES A STARTLING APPEARANCE!

Now for the exciting conclusion of...THIS!

* * *

"You..." Gaara glared as he stared Matsuri down. "How did you find me?"

"Easy!" Matsuri giggled, "I implanted a tracking device in your lower intestine while you were sleeping..."

"But I don't sleep..." Gaara said confused.

"Well,...it was a drug induced sleep..." Matsuri admitted.

"Was that the time I woke up in Karachi's toilet?"

"YEP!"

"YOU UGLY LITTLE STALKER!" Gaara yelled. "I'LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THAT!"

"Ha Ha! Foolish Gaara Sama!" Matsuri smirked as she whipped out (duhn da duhn) A LIGHT SABER!

"Ungaurd!" Matsuri yelled.

"You think you can beat the lord of the sand with your overrated flashlight!" Gaara smiled as pulled out (Duhn Da Duhn) A LIGHT SABER!

"Careful Gaara if you strike me down, I will become more powerful then you can ever imagine..." Matsuri warned.

"I'll keep that in mind..." Gaara said. Then he ran at Matsuri and sliced her head off.

(Somewhere in heaven the angels are smiling down on Gaara)

"Wait a second Gaara..." Kankuro yelled.

"What?" Gaara snapped as kicked Matsuri's body into the ocean.

"What do you think she meant when she used that Star Wars line?"

"Who know's" Gaara shrugged. "NOW LETS RESCUE JEREMY!" Gaara yelled. He ran screaming into the ocean.

**MEAN WHILE: THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY!**

Location: International Gaara Fan Base For Love Sick Girls (Also Known As: The IGFBFLSG)

"Hey Agent #7823 just sent us an email..." Said one love sick fangirl.

"Really whats it say?"

"IT HAS GAARA'S LOCATION WRITTEN ON IT!"

"WHAT REALLY! GIRLS THIS IS THE DAY WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR! LETS MOBILIZE AND MOVE OUT!"

Suddenly Thousands of fangirls were throwing themselves into fighter jets, and taking off to find the fantasy of their fan fictions.

**TIME PASSES**

"JEREMY!" Gaara yelled.

"Gaara...can we take a break?" Kankuro wheezed.

"NO! Not until we find Jeremy!"

"But swimming around for hours is hard enough without you on my back..."

"ARE YOU KIDDING! DO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I GOT WET! I'D MELT FASTER THAN THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST!"

"Well...you know...I was just thinking..."

"Well, STOP thinking, it's not what your good at."

Just then, Gaara caught a glimpse of something green floating in the water.

"JEREMY!" He Cried as he jumped on top of the floating cactus and gave it a big hug.

"..." Said Jeremy.

"Hurray!" Kankuro sighed...Now lets go find Temari...

Suddenly Gaara looked up at the horizon...

"Kankuro do you see that?"

"It's a bird...no a plane! No it's..."

"FANGIRLS!"

"AHHHHHHH!"

"SWIM KANKURO SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!" Gaara screamed.

By the power of Poseidon, Kankuro was able to reach the beach in record time, while balancing a 13 year old, and a cactus, on his back.

"RUN! RUN AND FIND TEMARI!" Kankuro yelled.

The two of them (add the cactus) went hurtling towards the hotel lobby.

**Meanwhile, **

"So are you feeling better?" Shikamaru asked, as he handed Temari her eightieth kleenix.

"Yeah...You know, I think I might be able to still have fun on this vacation...I just need to-"

"TEMARI!" Kankuro, and Gaara screamed. "THE FANGIRLS! THEY FOUND US!"

"Wait what?" Temari asked.

"NO TIME TO EXPLAIN!" Kankuro yelled as he grabbed Temari's hand and pulled her away.

"HI SHIKAMARU-BYE SHIKAMARU!" Gaara yelled.

"Huh?" Shikamaru said as he watched the three siblings rocket away.

"CARROTS!"

"TAXI!" Gaara shouted as he waved his hand in the air.

"Wait a minute Gaara!" Temari yelled. "If you just leave then the fangirls will follow you, we need another person they'll obsess over, someone the won't be able to ignore, someone who's cute and darling, and no matter what comes out of their mouth, no one will be able to take them seriously."

Right on cue a cab pulled up and out popped, EDWARD ELRIC!

"I wonder if the Philosophers Stone is in this City..." The short, blond teenager said as he crossed the street.

"Your cute and tiny, you'll work perfectly!" Temari said.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SAND MITE SO TINY NO ONE WOULD EVEN NOTICED IF THEY STEPPED ON HIM!" Ed screamed.

"Awww! How adorable..." Gaara, Kankuro, Temari, and all passerby's said in unison.

Ed: -.-#

Temari pulled out a giant hat that said "Hello, I'm an Anime Character with a Depressing Life" and glued it on Ed's head.

"HEY WHAT GIVES!" Ed yelled

Everyone: "AWW! How adorable!"

"See Ya!" Temari called as she climbed into the taxi.

"Wouldn't want to be ya!" Gaara shouted.

"What!" Ed was super confused, but he didn't realize his predicament until it was to late.

"LOOK IT'S EDWARD ELRIC!" Screamed a fangirl.

Edward: "LE GASP!"

"Hey Girls!" One of the fangirls called. "Look it's cute little Edward!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO LITTLE HE MAKES BACTERIA LOOK BIG!"

FANGIRLS: AWWW HOW ADORABLE!

It was silent...

Then someone screamed "GET HIM!" and Ed was burried in a mob of rabid fangirls.

(Note: No Edwards were harmed in the making of this fan fiction)

**MEANWHILE or Actually...HAPPYWHILE**

"Jeremy says if you take a left you'll find the airport." Gaara told the cab driver.

He gave Gaara a funny look and turned left.

"So the fangirls found Gaara..." Temari sighed.

"AND ME!" Kankuro added.

"Sorry Kankuro, you don't have any fangirls..." Gaara said sympathetically as he patted Kanky on the head.

"Why can't I have a normal life..." Temari whined.

"BECAUSE THIS ISN'T REAL! IT'S A FAN FICTION!"

"Who said that!" Kankuro shrieked, as the cab driver went swerved out of surprise.

"I DID!"

"Huh? But who are you?" Gaara asked the voice.

"I AM THE AUTHOR!"

"But I thought we killed the Author two chapters ago!" Temari yelled.

"THAT WAS JUST A DECOY! YOU CANNOT KILL ME! FOR I AM ALL POWERFUL!"

"Oh shut up!" Gaara yelled "We all know your just a lonely fangirl who has nothing better to do then write messed up fan fictions for her own amusement."

"WELL YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET ALL PERSONAL! AND I AM NOT LONELY!"

"OH THAT'S RIGHT!" Gaara screamed "YOUR JUST ANTI-SOCIAL!"

Temari: *gasp* Gaara you went to far!

There was a couple of epic sounding cry noises, then the voice started up again. "YOU'LL WISH YOU HADN'T DONE THAT NO SABAKU GAARA!"

"Well what are you going to do about it huh?" Gaara taunted.

Suddenly the cab driver exploded.

(Note: No Cab Drivers were harmed in the making of this fan fiction...)

"OH GOD THERE'S GUTS ALL OVER THE CAR!" Kankuro

"GAARA THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" Temari screamed as she grabbed the steering wheel.

"What! How is this my fault!"

"You shouldn't have upset the author! Now were going to be bombarded with stupid movie references, and were going to run into every obstacle there possibly is, and THEN to top it all off this story won't even have an actual conclusion!"

"Well, whatever! That Author was asking for it!"

Suddenly the radio turned on. "THIS JUST IN! The Airport exploded!"

(Note: No airports were harmed in the making of this fan fiction)

"WHAT!" Temari yelled! "Now how are we gonna get home!"

The Radio Turned on again, "THIS JUST IN! THE AIRPORT HAS BEEN SEIZED BY RABID ANIME FANS!"

"GAARA!" Kankuro cried "QUICK! Apologize to the Author before she makes the story get even worse!"

"I WON'T!" Gaara yelled.

"THIS JUST IN! An ANIME CON has been relocated to right outside the Airport!"

"GAARA!" Temari warned.

"NO!"

"THIS JUST IN! A bunch of One Piece fans are about to-"

"OK I'M SORRY!" Gaara screamed.

"APOLOGY ACCEPTED!" Said the Author.

"Suddenly the car sprouted wings!"

"SEE HOW NICE IT IS WHEN THE AUTHORS ON YOUR SIDE?"

"Yeah Yeah Yeah..." Gaara pouted.

"THIS JUST IN! The Airport is all better now! Feel free to take any flights you like FOR FREE! (unless your name is Kankuro)

Kankuro: STUPID AUTHOR!

**FIVE SECONDS LATER**

"Can you believe we made it to the airport, bought Kankuro's ticket, boarded a flight and found are seats all in the last six-seconds?" Temari asked.

"All these transitions are making me air sick..." Gaara muttered.

"But were not even in the air yet..." Kankuro pointed out.

"Shut Up Kankuro, No one listens to you anyway."

Kankuro sighed and looked at the guy he was sitting next on the plane.

"That's a cool notebook you got there..." Kankuro said kindly.

"DON'T TOUCH IT! ITS MINE!" The Guy shrieked. He punched Kankuro in the face!

"JEEZ! OW! OK MAN! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!"

"Ha Ha...My secret is safe! I am God of the new world! He He He HAAA HAA HA HA HAAA HA HA HA GWUAF GUAWF GUAWF! MWHAHAHA!"

Kankuro: O.O;

"Hey are you Ok?" Kankuro asked.

"GIVE ME YOUR TATOE CHIPS!" The scary guy commanded.

"uh...but I don't have any tato-"

"GIVE THEM TO ME!"

The guy then suddenly jumped on top of one of the Flight Attendants and ripped a bag of Potatoe Chips out of her pocket!

While the lady was screaming, The guy took a Potatoe Chip...AND ATE IT!

"What a phsycho..." Kankuro thought.

**ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE AISLE!**

"So you're sitting like that...why?" Temari asked the guy sitting next to her.

"Because if I were to sit normally my deductive skills would decrease by 40%..."

"I see..." Temari said warily.

They dude was crouched up in a little ball in his seat, which had to be uncomfortable considering the guy was almost 6 foot.

"Are you Ok?" Temari asked as the guy took out a cake and began gobbling it up.

"Depends on the emphasis under which the term is used..." The guy said through mouthfuls of cake.

"Never mind..." Temari sighed. "_Why can't I sit next to a normal person for once?"_

Just then, the guy with the potatoe chips began singing.

_I AM KIRA! GOD OF THE NEW WORLD! I KILL CRIMINALS AND MY HAIR IS SUPER GREASY!_

The guy sitting next to Temari stood up! "HA HA! I FINALLY HAVE A CONFESSION! I FOLLOWED YOU HERE LIGHT AND WAITED PATIENTLY FOR YOU TO ADMIT TO BEING KIRA! NOW I HAVE PROOF AND YOU ARE UNDER ARREST! FOR MURDERING THOUSANDS AND HAVING GREASY HAIR!"

Light stood up. "HA HA WELL I KNEW, YOU KNEW THAT I WOULD COME HERE AND SO I CUT OF YOUR CONNECTION TO THE POLICE! YOUR POWERLESS!"

"WELL I KNEW, THAT YOU KNEW, THAT I KNEW, THAT YOU WOULD COME HERE SO I BROUGHT BACKUP CONNECTIONS!"

"BUT I KNEW THAT YOU KNEW THAT I KNEW THAT YOU KNEW THAT I WAS COMING HERE, SO I STOLE YOUR BACKUPS AND TOLD THE POLICE TO ARREST YOU INSTEAD!"

"WELL I KNEW THAT YOU KNEW THAT I KNEW THAT YOU KNEW THAT I KNEW THAT YOU KNEW THAT I KNEW THAT YOU WERE COMING HERE, SO I BROUGHT A GUN TO SHOOT YOU!"

"BUT I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT YOU CAN'T SHOOT PEOPLE L! CUZ YOUR TO MUCH OF A SAP!"

"YES I KNEW THAT YOU KNEW THAT SO I KNEW THAT YOU WOULD SAY THAT SO I DIDN'T BRING A GUN! I BROUGHT MY SUCCESSORS, NEAR, MELLO AND MATT!"

"YES BUT WE BOTH KNOW THAT I KNEW THAT YOU KNEW THAT THEY KNEW THAT I WAS KIRA SO THEY KNEW TO TELL YOU BECAUSE YOU'D KNOW NOT TO BRING THEM!"

"YES BUT I KNEW THAT YOU WOULD SAY THAT SO I KNEW TO GIVE BACK UP INSTRUCTIONS SO THEY KNEW THAT YOU KNEW TO KNOW THAT!"

"Just how much do you people know!" A random person from the back screamed.

"A LOT!"

**SEVERAL LONG HOURS OF GENIUS TALK LATER!**

"Enough Talk!" L shouted.

"FINALLY!" Someone from the back of the plane said.

"Its time to duel!" Light yelled.

Gaara looked at Kankuro "Did we just make a yugioh reference?"

Suddenly Light Yagami pulled out a box of Potatoe chip blades and threw them at L.

"Really Light? Potatoe Chip...Star throwers?" L said sarcastically.

"Hey! Don't knock the tatoe chip blades!"

"This is ridiculous." L sighed. He then kicked Light in the face.

"OWWW!" Light cried. "I-I think you broke my nose..."

L rolled his eyes. "Light I didn't break my nose, your just weak..."

"Still, you didn't need to punch me that hard..." Light sniffed. "Am I bleeding?"

"No Light you're not bleeding..." L sighed.

"Jeez L why can't you be nicer."

"A shut up you big baby..." L yelled as he smacked Light in the face.

"THAT'S IT L! YOU ASKED FOR IT!" Light screamed. He suddenly pulled out a (DUHN DUHN DUHN) NEED NOTE!

"A Need Note!" Gaara said unimpressed "Geez Light Yagami! Could you get anymore Mary Sue?"

"What it's perfectly rational to use a Need Note! It can get you anything you need forever! You don't need money or grocery stores ever again!"

"Light...The emo kid is right..." L said "It is Mary Sue!"

"I'm not Emo..." Gaara pouted.

"IT'S NOT MARY SUE!" Light denied. "And anyway, I'm going to use this Need note to summon the most deadly force in the world to destroy you L! AND THEN I WILL BE GOD OF THE NEW WORLD!"

"Question..." Kankuro said. "If you just go around killing criminals and you don't have any real powers, how are god? I mean why not King? Or President? Why God? It just seems unlikely that you would-"

"SHUT UP!" Light Yagami yelled. "I'm summoning evil forces."

Suddenly there was a giant flash of light! Light gave an evil Mwhaha! Smoke and lasers shot out everywhere, there was giant clap of thunder, and suddenly a person appeared.

Gaara: O.O

Kankuro: O.O

Temari: O.O

L: O.O

Rest of the Passengers: O.O

Light: HA HA! Beat that!

The figure rose as the smoke cleared, and the whole plane beheld the mighty glory of

*DRUM ROLL PLEASE*

"Inuyasha?" L said in disbelief, "You make yourself a freaking NEED NOTE, and you summon a fury for help?"

"Hey I'm not a fury!" Inuyasha shouted. "I'm a very complex spirit who's half human!"

"Call it what you will but it amounts to the same thing..." Temari said.

"I WANNA FEEL HIS EARS!" Gaara said.

Inuyasha was suddenly surrounded by people trying to feel his ears all at once. "AGHH! STOP IT!" he cried.

"That's it! I'm going back home!" Inuyasha cried. There was another clap of thunder and Inuyasha disappeared.

Light: "..."

Plane: "..."

Jeremy: "..."

"Ok...Light its time to end this..." L said.

"What makes you think you'll end it so quickly." Light shouted.

"It's the fact that this is in fact a NARUTO STORY, and therefore no one wants to sit around listening to people from Death Note! They came here to read a funny story about Gaara and Fat men in speedo's!"

"Well, when I win! I'll cancel Naruto! And then there will be only Death Note!"

Naruto Fans: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Death Note Fans: YAAAAAY!

"I won't let that happen!" L yelled. "The Anime world must be balanced, if you destroy Naruto, people will no longer have any reason to like Death Note!"

"You'll never stop me!" Light yelled.

"Yes I will...with the power of GIR!"

"The Power of what?" Light exclaimed.

L suddenly pulled out a tiny robot that was dressed like a dog.

"BURRITO'S!" The Robot yelled. Then it started beating up Light Yagami.

"AGHH! OH GOD THE PAIN!" Light yelled.

"SCARY MONKEY SHOW!" Said GIR.

"You lose Light Yagami!" L said.

"NOOO!" Then Light Exploded.

(Light was definitely hurt during the making of this fan fiction)

"Did we just make an Invader Zim reference?" Gaara asked.

"Eww there are Light guts everywhere..." Kankuro cried.

"All right then," L said. "Now that Light Yagami is taken care of, I'll just sit back and let the author finish this freaking story at last."

"You got it L..." Gaara said. "Ok Author! Finish it!"

"..."

"Author?"

"..."

"Hey Author you there?"

"..."

"Guys Somethings wrong!" Gaara yelled. "The Author's not talking!"

"Oh no!" L said.

"What! Whats happening?"

L stared at the three siblings darkly.

"I don't think Light summoned Inuyasha with the need note..."

"What?" Temari gasped.

"It was something more sinister, something more evil, something so vile it offends the devil!"

"What, What on earth could it be..." Kankuro whimpered.

"Do you know what it means when an Author is no longer in control of their story..." L whispered eerily.

Gaara gasped. "YOU DON'T MEAN!"

"Yes..." L nodded. "THIS PLANE IS BEING CENSORED BY 4KIDS!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHH*gasps for breath*Ahhhhhh!"

"Were gonna die! Were gonna Die!" Temari screamed!

"Calm down Temari," Kankuro tried.

"You know what happens to feminists in 4kids dubs!" Temari shrieked! "I'm the only decent character in Naruto and their gonna censor me!"

"It's starting..." L said

Everyone watched in horror as the "No Smoking Sign" Erased itself.

"Kankuro I'm scared!" Gaara said. "I'm Emo! 4kids will never understand me!"

Suddenly Jeremy's sunglasses disappeared!

"JEREMY NO!" Gaara cried.

L fell over in shock. "OH NO!" He screamed.

L's feet now had a pair of brand new tennis shoes, socks included.

"I can feel myself getting stupider!" L cried as his hair combed itself.

The Light Yagami guts turned to water.

"Kankuro your hat!" Temari shrieked. "It's turning Red!"

"AGHHHHH!" Kankuro screamed as he tried to change the color back.

"Gaara!" Temari yelled!

"Temari they're censoring me!" Gaara cried. He was slowly disappearing!

Gaara Fans: NOOOO!

"SOMEBODY HELP US!" Temari screamed.

Suddenly A giant red blur came crashing through the ceiling.

A giant explosion sounded. For a second everyone turned back to normal.

"No Way!" Gaara yelled.

"It's You Guys!" Kankuro yelled.

There, standing in the middle of the plane, stood BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER! AND EDWARD ELRIC! And some random guy in a tux with white stripes on his head.

*CHEERS*

"How're you guys back?" Temari asked.

"Genius Buffy here, thought I was that Twilight vampire and came to slay me, inadvertently saving me from the savage fan girls, I STILL REMEMBER THAT THANK YOU!" Edward screamed.

Everyone on plane: "Aww How Adorable...^^"

"What about him?" Kankuro asked pointing to the guy in the tux."

'I needed a ride..." He said, "By the way the stripes on your face are very symmetrical! I like that! YOU ARE A TRUE HERO OF SYMMETRY!"

"Thank you..." Kankuro said nervously.

The kid looked at Gaara, "UGHHH! How dare you have a kanji on the lefty side of your face and not the right."

"Can I kill him?" Gaara asked.

"No..." Temari said sternly.

Edward shook his head, "Alright well were here to help you defeat 4kids!"

"But why help us?" Gaara asked.

"Because," Buffy interrupted, "If this fan fiction gets censored every single one of the shows that cameoed is going to be censored as well!"

"But we've made references to almost every anime there is!" Said Gaara.

"I know..." Buffy said, "So this will be an epic battle for cool shows everywhere!"

Suddenly every single anime character in the whole world transported on to the plane! (it's the worlds biggest plane...)

"Come on club! We can't let 4kids win! We have to do our best!" Said Tamaki Suoh, with his Ouran Host Club

"Lets show 4kids who's boss!" Shouted Lufy from One Piece, "There's no way! I'm gonna let them ruin my show again!"

"We'll take um out!" Said the entire cast of Lucky Star.

"We can do it!" Said Sakura from Sakura Cardcaptors!

"Yes we can!" Said Sakura from Tsubasa!

"FOR LOVE!" Said Sakura from Naruto (she was then suddenly hit by an arrow and died.

"Come one guys! Lets take out 4kids once and for all!" Ash Ketchum yelled,

"Pika Pika!"

"LETS DO IT!" Came a loud battle cry.

"...wait how do we stop 4kids..." Someone asked in the crowd, it sounded like Yuki Cross from vampire knight.

The whole plane was silent as all the anime characters contemplated a way to defeat a dubbing company in a different dimension...

"I KNOW! If were just be super violent and insane, 4kids will have an overload and then they can't dub us!" Said Sebastian Michaelis from Black Butler.

"Right! so now lets do it!" Said Haruhi Suzumiya.

"Yeah lets do it quick before we all turn stupid..." Re-l Mayer from Ergo Proxy said in an annoyed voice.

Suddenly the whole plane was in an uproar!

Tohru Honda was in a fist fight with Sonic the hedge hog.

Speed Racer and Soul Eater were spray painting the plane pink.

Edward and Toushiro Hitsugaya were dangling Takashi Mori Nozuka out a window.

Yugi Moto and Seto Kaiba were setting fire to poke balls and trading cards.

Both Mokona and Modoki were piloting the plane.

All the while Miku Hatsune was singing loudly in Japanese, while Mario and Luigi blew up mushrooms, and Rukia Kuchiki and Konan were reporting the whole battle to news stations all over the Otaku World!

Gaara was crushing Shou Tucker with his sand and making a point of leaving a big mess so 4kids couldn't clean it up.

Temari was breaking windows and Kankuro was dancing with Karusu's knives.

The whole plane was in total chaos. 4kids couldn't keep up, they were beginning to lose control.

"EVERYONE SWEAR AS LOUD AS YOU CAN!" The People from the Boonducks shouted loudly.

"#&FUYG*&RHRWGRIUWIU*Y#()&!)&)&^$)&)(!)_(*$*&^%%GY%^&(*(**^#!(*&)(*&$)!&)#&)*!&)&#)!&)&#)#)!&)" Said Fai.

Any original passengers who were still on the plane were now trembling in the restroom.

"LOOK 4KIDS! I CAN READ!" L said as he picked up a book and began reading it.

"Quick Gaara!" Temari yelled. "Let Shukaku out!"

"You got it!" Gaara yelled.

The whole plane exploded!

"Don't worry! I got a space ship!" Yelled Goku from dragon ball Z.

Optimus prime flew out of the air and turned into a space ship, which saved everyone.

"Wait a second!" L cried, "Were we just saved by highly improbable means?"

"THE AUTHOR IS REGAINING POWER!" Gaara yelled happily as he transformed back into himself.

"YES GAARA I'M BACK! NOW WATCH ME TAKE OUT 4KIDS!"

Suddenly there was a giant white light and time and space itself spun loose and there was a giant explosion of epicness!

* * *

"Wow sounds intense..." Shikamaru said nonchalantly.

"Yep, and then we fought robot monkeys and played card games on motor bikes" Kankuro explained casually.

"I liked the part where 4kids transformed into a giant pink Godzilla..." Gaara said as he took a chocolate chip cookie from the stack on the kitche table.

"Temari when can we go on Vacation again?" Kankuro asked.

"Not anytime soon, how's that?" Temari sighed as she rubbed her head. "That whole experience made me start balding."

"Well at least the fan fictions ending soon so we can all go back to our normal lives..." Temari smiled.

"Yeah but that means Matsuri's gonna come back to life..." Gaara sighed. He looked over at the cactus sitting next to him, "At least I still have you Jeremy..."

Suddenly there was a popping noise and Jeremy turned back into Shino,

He glared at Gaara then took a cookie from the kitchen table and walked out.

**THE END!  
**

**Wait a minute!**

**Back at the resort!**

"I brought Chinese..." PoPo said as he walked back into the room. He frowned.

"DEIDARA! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT KILLING TOBI!"

"He was asking for it! He just kept poking me! Even when I told him to stop!

"Well apologize to Tobi!"

"Sorry Tobi..." Deidara sighed.

"Good, now who wants Ovaltine?"

* * *

**Now It's The End...**

**Thank You to all the fans who commented**

**and to all the Anime Characters who appeared**

N**ote I do not own any of them**

**THE END**


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